I’m at the point where I’m over thinking about everything that’s been going on the past year. I had a co-worker who I felt that I couldn’t trust with anything being done

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. I did think that I could before, but now looking back I have realized that I couldn’t. I always wondered why I felt like I couldn’t leave to take a break and come back to somewhat of a calm classroom. That things wouldn’t get done. I’m a lead teacher and I know part of my job is to direct people, but this woman has been in that class before I transferred in. So she should know the expectations of the class. She should know what has to be done and be able to do it before she is told. She should be able to jump to each task and at least try to maintain structure and organization.

Also, she went through this period of constantly being out or leaving early. She would be constantly on her phone and barely played with the kids. I felt like she didn’t want to be there and she made things harder on me. I felt like I was stuck doing everything. I felt like nothing was getting done, even though I was working very hard to do them. Our structure went down, because I was too exhausted or busy with getting things done.

Now the woman left my classroom and is in another one. I feel like she is working more and doing her job. Now I’m wondering if it was my fault or I wasn’t doing enough to make the class better. Or that she left because of my crazy room and felt that I wasn’t a good teacher to work with. Also, I feel like she was saying horrible things to our boss about me and my room. Things that she wouldn’t do or want to do…that now I am forced to do. I feel like she turned things around about how she didn’t work because it was my fault…when it wasn’t. I’m sorry if this was very confusing.

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