The burdens of not being in charge or psychic

Been at job for less than a month. 0 training, was given logins to software, and promptly ceased to exist.

Me: I have software that needs to update, but I don’t have administrator privileges.
Them: is your computer down?
Me: no
Them: submit a ticket to IT
Me: ok 🙂 what categories do I use? Like, how do I structure the request?
Them: submit an IT ticket
Me: 😐

Boss: you don’t need to include so much information, be brief.
Me: ok I can be more concise 🙂 what information here is useful?
Boss: … (2 weeks ago and still no response)

Me: we really didn’t do a great job with this account. They are very high profile and unhappy. What are my options for appeasement?
Boss: contacts client behind my back as me, tells them it just sucks to be them.
Me: should we be alienating this client?? They are really update and keep contacting.
Boss: I mean, really. This is their first order in like FOREVER
Me: really? How mysterious.

Person slightly senior, but not my boss: No personal calls at your desk
Me: really? I asked and was told it was fine?
Them: no, you weren’t.
Also them: *their personal phone is ringing* hello? Oh no it’s fine 🙂 how’s your day? Proceeds to have 39 minute conversation about french fries.

Me to boss: can you please clarify the policy on this issue? I’m unsure of what I should be doing.
Boss: 3 page dissertation on the basics of my field of work that I have been in my entire life, never answers question in any way. Points out what she thinks is a typo, but isn’t. She didn’t read the information. Says something about how client is stupid and she doesn’t care. Still does not answer direct question.
Me: Soo… If a happens, then I can go ahead and do b?
Boss: *crickets*
Me: umm hello?
Boss: *changes status to out of office*

5 minutes before my shift ends:

Bosses boss: just put that stuff by my desk.
Me: sure no problem! Where is your desk?
Bosses boss:…..no response..
Me: *checks chat for about 10 minutes, still no response*
Me: *pushes around cart full of crap for an hour asking randoms in my huge building where bosses bosses desk is, none of them know, 30 minutes late going home after checking name plates all over 3 story office complex.

2hrs later

Bosses boss: hey, make sure you get approval for overtime from me before staying late.
Me: *writing this while taking a break from putting in applications on indeed and eating handfuls of xanex*

 
Posted in Workrant.

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