Socially clueless

Your lack of self-awareness is astounding. Why, why, why on earth would you want to work at an office where no one likes you? You didn’t have a single real buddy here until a new person showed up that you could prey on, because they didn’t know any better. And now you and she are a cozy coven of two. Maybe now you’ll stop complaining to your supervisor that your coworkers are being mean and bullying you. WTF do you want them to do? We told them ahead of time not to hire you based on personality alone. They can’t MAKE us like you. It’s called work, and you’re a grownup. Suck it up and deal with it.

Oh, and congratulations on finding a boyfriend who can actually stand you…I suppose someone’s got to do it. Thanks for taking a hit for the team, brother! Tell you what: since you’re such a notorious tightwad, I have an idea for you to save a bunch of cash. And it’s even better than putting all of the leftovers from office lunches into a ziploc bag with your name on it and sticking it in the break room freezer. Instead of buying airplane tickets to go see “your baby” (urgggh…dry heave) in San Diego, why don’t you just quit and move there? You’d be doing everyone a favor

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. I’d even attend your going-away party.

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