My Client “E” is an ASSHOLE

Working in the advertising industry is not as glamorous as they make it out be on TV…all those lovely parties and events you get to attend…invitations to exclusive product launches…they all come at a price and a heavy one to pay…dealing with ASSHOLE clients that you imagine strangling and stabbing them repeatedly while they’re on the phone with you. And, if your lucky, to have a client like my ASSHOLE client, you imagine yourself throwing them under a heavy 18 wheeler and driving over them over and over again till they’re flat as a sheet…sigh…such a satisfying thought.

My client is an ASSHOLE…in case you didn’t get that from the references above. He is a liar, the worst piece of crap you could ever get the chance to meet. that fucking idiot has the nerve to blame me for his unprofessionalism. I have never encountered a more low life, low class ASSHOLE as ‘E’. He never reads his emails, never sends anything on time, and when something goes wrong from his side, he has the nerve to put the blame on me.

Dear E, I hate you, you son of a bitch. You are a fucking idiot and a psychotic liar. I hope you die you fucking asshole. I should not let a piece of crap ruin my day…I hope you trip down the stairs, choke on your cigarette till it burns a hole through your tongue and throat. I hope you get run over by an angry mob, stepping all over your ugly face. I hope your entire office building collapses down on your fucking head you asshole. I hope you get thrown out of the window and your tie gets stuck on a windowsill nail and chokes you to death. I hope you get run over by an 18 wheeler like in cartoon TV shows, till you become flat, then someone stuffs you with dynamite and it blows you up to pieces…each piece scattered all over the place. I hope you lose your job, your family, your wife and kids. I hope someones hangs you on one of the signs that bears your advertisements and streams jets of ice-cold water all over you till you freeze to death, then pours boiling water mixed with acid all over your ugly face until it falls off completely.

I hate you you fucking asshole and hope you die. I hope you burn in the depths of hell…I hope you fall in a pool of piranhas and barracuda fish so that they eat you alive…leaving nothing but a skeleton of bones…and I hope you are still alive and in extreme pain after that experience and have someone break every single bone in your body, before crushing them with a hammer. And then when you think that you cannot handle the pain any longer, I hope your brain is poked with a hot poker until it’s a gooey mess that runs all over the place.

Well, that was therapeutic! 🙂 I feel much better now… looking forward to tomorrow where I can imagine more severe deaths for that asshole…..

Posted in Workrant.

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