I’m so tired

Where to even begin?

I used to love my job, I looked forward to waking up and going in to the office every morning. Then I got promoted. Twice.

I have no clue what I’m doing for starters, and upper management doesn’t seem to have any desire to tell me what I should be doing. I feel like my job description is basically, “Do stuff, make things happen.”

That might be fine if I had a single overarching goal to focus on, but I don’t. I’m doing three jobs right now, four on some days. I’m working 60-70 hours a week, usually until 3:00 AM or 4:00 AM each day, and that’s still not enough to get everything done. My boss is breathing down my neck because stuff is getting dropped, and on the one hand I completely understand his frustration. On the other hand though, I’m like, “Really, man? I can only juggle so many balls before one gets dropped. You do realize that I’m only human, right?” Most days I’m fighting as hard as I possibly can not to fall asleep behind the wheel on my way to work.

I have no work-life balance. I wake up, go to work, work through lunch, come home, take a short nap to try and fight off the massive amount of consistent sleep deprivation I’m constantly dealing with, wake up again, work some more, go to sleep for the night and then repeat the whole thing the next day. I’ve tried to fit other things in to my schedule, but there’s really not any time for it.

I could maybe put up with all of that if I were just being well paid for the work I’m doing. Instead, I’m being paid ~$30,000 less than the average salary in my area for my lowest ranking job title. $50,000 if you compare my salary against my highest ranking job title. My roommate can barely cover his share of the bills so most months I have to spend extra just to keep from being evicted. I have almost no spare money, and sometimes I wonder if I’ll even have enough to eat every day. I’ve got $12 right now. All but the last $2 of that is going to go toward parking for a site-survey that I have to do myself despite the fact that the other project managers aren’t required to do their own site-surveys. My boss is making me do it myself because he’s pissed off for unrelated reasons.

I’ve got over a week of vacation saved up that I’m never going to get to used. As it is, I fully expect that I’ll be working through Thanksgiving, my sister’s wedding and Christmas.

There’s a competitor that’s been trying really hard to recruit me. They say that I’m being taken advantage of. They told me they can offer me an easier job with a higher salary. Every single day I consider giving them a call. Every single day I don’t because I feel like the rewards will eventually be better where I am. I’m tried of eventually. I’m tired in general. I feel like I’m literally working myself to death. I’m really considering accepting the other job, walking in to my boss’s office and saying, “Here’s paperwork showing how many hours I’m putting in every month and here’s my two-weeks notice. I wish I could say it’s been a pleasure to work with you.”

 
Posted in Workrant.

One Comment

  1. DO IT! Just let it all go. Go get the other job and get your life back.
    BUT before your go, get a contract or written agreement of what they are going to give you.
    Pay & Benefits ie: Wages – how much salary or hourly and how many hours are normally worked in a work week. If you are going to work 60 – 70 hours a week on a salary, forget it. You got that now! Health and the amount of what they expect you to pay of the premium. What holidays are recognized? (My sisters employer made everyone work 1/2 to a full day on each holiday and that included Christmas and Thanksgiving…so ask!) What can you expect on vacation, when does it begin, how is it earned? What pension plan is in place and if not, then get a 401K contribution from the employer. You need a career not a job. Plan for your future.
    I was killing myself doing the work of 3 for 8 months and I was fortunate that I got time and a half, but that didn’t matter at the end of the day. I was exhausted, when I slept I was working in my sleep so I really wasn’t sleeping. I too was afraid of falling asleep at the wheel. I too took home work. And I was always behind. One cannot do the work of 3 for long. If no help is in sight, forget it and move on. They will use you until they can’t use you any longer.
    You must have a life, and a break from work. If you are working that hard and have $12. to your name, then you are in the wrong boat! Kick your roommate to the curb if they can’t pay. Have a frank financial conversation about money, keep friendship and emotions out of it, this is business. You aren’t their daddy, close your wallet and and tell them to put up or get out. Be kind about it, but DO IT!
    Best of luck to you. There is life after a bad job! I am a testament to that. I love where I am now. – I am in the same place, but I put my foot down, said what I needed, and told them if I didn’t get it I was walking. They listened and approved. It may work for you, but maybe not. Look at all your options and choose what is best for You and only you! Be well!

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