I’m Going Nowhere

I was promoted to a position I had no experience in and given little to no guidance beyond, “figure it out yourself,” despite the fact that I watched other people in my position given a ton of time and attention without even asking. To make things better, the very first thing you told me was that you wanted to give the job to someone else, but couldn’t, so thanks for sabotaging any confidence I had in myself from the beginning.

When I inevitably made mistakes due to being given the biggest workload, the least experienced workers and absolutely no guidance, they were held against me. I’m fine with that, accountability is important.

But I’ve been working my ass off to try and turn things around, and despite the fact that our profits are up, our morale is high and our customer satisfaction has improved immensely, the only thing that ever gets brought up are a few small mistakes I made months ago. Any improvement I debase and exhaust myself working for gets attributed to someone else as soon as it pays off.

I used to think you just didn’t know how to manage. I thought there was no way that you possibly could given how bad you were at it.

But after months of being the only person not invited to workplace social events and being openly ostracized when I try to be a team player and participate regardless, I finally get it. It’s not that you can’t do your job, it’s that you won’t when it comes to me. Because you have some sort of problem with me. Because I’m not a part of your fucking, “workplace family.” Because you’ve never wanted me here, you never will and no amount of dedication or self-sacrifice on my part can change that.

I’m running my ass off and going nowhere. I hate working for you. It literally makes me suicidal. You’re not a shitty manager, you’re a shitty person. Fuck you.

Posted in Workrant.

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