I shaved my legs for this?

Where do I even start?

I took a 20K pay cut for this position, because “the organization has so much potential; I know I can make a huge impact.”

What a fool I am.

I am a grant writer, I love writing, I love research, I love program evaluation – and translating all three into a compelling narrative that inspires foundations to reach deep and give big. I left a job I loved, absolutely loved. I loved the people I worked with; I loved that I could be myself. I just plain loved going into work every day.

Then I found out my boss was secretly job hunting, and there’s no way I was going to absorb her role: Director.

I found another gig: small nonprofit, I saw a lot of alignment between their mission and internal behavior. I believed every word about inclusiveness, community engagement, “without cost, condition, or judgement” they said.

Then the date ended, like all dates do: one of you goes home, kicks off those tight ass shoes, and unbuckles to let you breeze. My date with this organization was over before it began.

Inclusive my ass. Misogyny, blatant ethnocentrism, racism, complete computer illiteracy. The board chair is a huge ass, the E.D. is almost 80! No one on the board knows what they fuck they’re doing, nor can half of them operate a computer – and by operate I mean ANYTHING.

I struggle to do my job since I have no time to focus on revenue-generating activities. I’ve had to revise my fundraising strategy twice because the E.D. and board chair keep changing their minds, or one of them forgets what the actual revenue goals are.

The board chair is just freaking creepy, Facebook stalks people. My page is on lock down, yet somehow he messaged my by searching with my cell phone. Come on, seriously!

Directors are oversight; I knew it would be a challenge because I love being at the individual contributor level, but now I’m doing both – and really have taken on 5 people’s roles, because we’re a development department of one: marketing, communications, content design, events planning and management, volunteer recruitment and coordination; in the past month, I’ve only had enough time to submit 1 grant – 1! I should have 4 in by now.

They want to increase revenue by 1.5M but they don’t want to hire more staff, nor do they want to pay their staff a living wage. Our program staff makes 10.50 an hour. In San Francisco Bay Area, this is plain crazy. Staff are jumping ship. I’m at my wits end, and our only intelligent consultant is burnt out because of the lack of communication from our office.

I used to have one boss; now I have 7. I get directives, requests, projects from everyone, but no one is supporting me; I can’t go to the E.D. for help because she thinks she’s helping but doesn’t understand:

There is a distinction between offering to help, and actually being helpful. If you’re fixing your car and I offer to help you by handing you a wet fish, I’m not helping!

I haven’t had a job where I count the hours each day since I was a waitress in my 20s.

Did I really go to grad school for this?

Posted in Workrant.

One Comment

  1. So sorry, in a similar mess here…took a pay cut for a skills development opportunity…but when I came here. .it’s a mess…am in a position that is in between 2 departments,(sales and marketing) that means 2 bosses with various demands and bloody departmental meetings on both sides with not much support.

    One of the bosses is such a bitch that she is putting her department failures on marketing…aka me as I am the marketing support for that bloody department that just wants price cuts to sale any products..

    Looking for another job asap.

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