…this job totally sucks. I’ve been teaching for over 25 years and I should have left it years ago. Unfortunately, once you are in it, and have kids and a mortgage, you can’t leave. I’m nearing the end of this mess, but the rules to get out keep changing. Between the shitty Union, and the school district, and the retirement people, well, nobody can get on the same page. The stress of worrying about this is killing me.
I’ve got to go back today after Spring Break. You’d think that we all would be “rejuvenated” and “energized” after a week off, but it’s just the opposite. You know the shithole that awaits you upon your return and it ruins your sleep and overall well-being. There are a few teachers who live and die for this job–but they generally don’t have strong family ties or no family at all. Some never had their own kids and just devoted their lives to the school district. That’s OK for them, but not me. Taking work home all the time, and working on weekends and holidays just to keep up, completely keeps me from enjoying family time and hobbies.
The admin are totally stupid. The new Principal is a wanker who likely “slept” his way to his job. The asst. principals under him just do what they have to do to keep on his good side. They know his rules are detrimental to the overall well-being of the school, but their hands are tied. Teachers who don’t do anything, but are known as “good ol’ boys” get Teacher of the Month on a regular basis. And it also helps if you’re a coach. Even if you don’t teach in the classroom, coaching is the golden ticket to favor with the admin. Teachers who just grind away in the classroom are underappreciated and generally ignored.
After all these years, I finally realized I’m not going to change the world. I’ve helped the kids I had in class, but as for making lasting changes in this district, no way. They would be happy if I left next week and never came back–as long as I have a sub to take my place. Admin doesn’t care if any teaching occurs as long as there is a warm body in the room monitoring the kids. This is the sad state of affairs in one of the biggest school districts in the nation.
I’m getting ready to leave for work and I can’t bear to go. My hands are shaking, I’m near crying, and I desperately need a Valium. How am I supposed to make it? This isn’t what I signed on for…