I fucking hate this job

The only good point of this shithole is salary, which I won’t be getting for much longer anyway.

First, they hired me to make an app on probation salary and then kick me out when the probation is over. They didn’t even bother to close the vacancy on the job site, and they keep refreshing it. I checked out of morbid curiosity several times.

Second, the HRs are passive-aggressive bitches. I’m an Android developer, and they officially hired me as a _Web_ developer. What the fuck? I tried talking to them, they unloaded a load on crap about the higher ups not giving a fuck. The next thing I know… they hire an iOS dev, and his title says “Mobile application developer”. When I asked the HRs why, and would they change my title too, they said “they’ll think”. Bitches.

Third, there’s an unpaid working first Saturday of month. What the fuckity fuck? And the contract clearly says that the working week is “no more than 40 hours”.

Then, there’s the tradition of extorting money from employees for “gifts” on holidays and occasions. I was just hired, didn’t even get my first salary, and had to give a rather large sum for a gift to my shitty team lead (further about him) for a “Men’s day”. When I was fucking broke and hungry. Literally. And I DID ask the HRs in an interview if they had that tradition, because it’s more or less common here, and they happily told me that not in their company. Which was far from the only lie I was told by them.

Then comes my birthday. Yet again, when I was hired, the HRs said that on a birthday the company gives the employee a small sum of money that they can spend on “fruit for the colleagues” or spend on whatever. Not only didn’t I get anything, in the daily newsletter the HR called me a fucking _Web Designer_. Oh, and where did that money-extortion tradition go when it was about my birthday?

Then, there’s HR eating my brain about “being late”. The whole IT team from the other department comes 30-40 minutes late every day, and that’s fine. I get 15 minutes late once, and I have to write an official letter of explanation.

Then there’s my shitty team lead. Sure, he used to be a Java coder, but it doesn’t mean he knows shit about Android development. But he’s oh-so-competent… So when he wants me to do something dumb or impossible, and I tell him as much (not in those words, mind), he first asks me to explain, then when I start explaining he interrupts me and either says I’m not making myself understood, or tells me that what I’m telling him “can’t be possible, and there has to be a way”. Well, tough. There isn’t. And when I try explaining stuff in detail, he says he doesn’t want to get into details of Android development. Well, how do I explain then? I tried dumbing things up, but he looks at me like I’m a high schooler, and he’s a parent.

Then he sets me up. All the fucking time. Starting with the fucking release date of the fucking app. First he pressured me into telling him what the app would take if I had all of the resources, and all of the backend working perfectly, blah-blah. I resisted as long as I could, because I had a feeling where that was going. But no. When I set a more or less realistic date, he asked why so long, and here goes again him not listening to my explanations. So he pressured me into giving him a theoretical date. And you know what? You guessed right, he set it as an official release date. Oh, and I didn’t have the resources. Nothing – nothing! – was ready. The design wasn’t even a design, it was a doodle in Photoshop on 1:2.5 canvas for each screen with several screens missing. The backend didn’t have 2/3 APIs. The functionality wasn’t decided on. There wasn’t even requirements specification. There still isn’t any actually. And still no design, because the designer quit a week after I was hired.

Then the team lead kept setting me up, dates and everything. For example, there’s another app, outsourced, and the company is insisting on their own design by a freelancer designer. The outsource company is less than thrilled about the design, and I totally understand why, and they’re telling my team lead as much. What does he do? Asks me if I know Android design peculiarities, and when I reply that of course I do, he calls the freelancer designer and tells her that “our developer has a Vision too, and would you listen to her”. I wriggled out of that one, because it’s not my fucking “Vision”, but you should’ve seen the scandalized face of the team lead when I told the designer that I was just an “interpreter” of the demands.

Then every fucking time he asks me to “do as I see fit” with the lack of design, then happily unloads the complaints of the Product Manager From Hell into my inbox. And when I point it out, he tells me that he’s my boss, not her. But it’s _me_ getting her bitching at me, not him. And every time he pressures me into doing things “just for him”, and then gives it to the PM and unloads her “critique” on me.

Then the Product Manager Bitch herself. First she was kinda nice. Too sweet and obviously insincere but not outright hostile. Then came the deadline forced by my team lead, and she stormed in without warning looking like a pissed off cat and started demanding “her app”. Oh, have I mentioned that in the beginning she refused when I suggested to show her progress any time she wanted? So there she is, screaming bloody murder. Then the design demands started. I mentioned earlier that the “design” is a Photoshop doodle on 1:2.5 canvas. No interactions and transitions explained, no sizes, no connections to screen sizes, nothing. The team lead said that I should do whatever I see fit, so I fit the content on the screen in somewhat of an approximation to the doodles. And the Bitch starts demanding, loudly and aggressively, that I deliver the app EXACTLY like it is “in the designs”. To any attempts at explaining she replied that she didn’t want to know the technical details. And she kept aggressively pushing to get the impossible. Then her own team lead joined in.

Oh, have I mentioned that the project I was hired for is an outsourced one, that no one seems to make any attempts to make local? And the app I’m writing is from another department that doesn’t have their own mobile developers? So there you have it.

And so, the enemy team lead joins in. He comes to our dept, asks me a question, then turns his back to me and starts chatting with the iOS dev ignoring me. Time after time. And at one particular time, when there was a discussion about a feature in the backend, he asked a question, outright said he doesn’t give a shit what I think, and kept talking to my team lead. Who didn’t bat an eye by the way.

Things escalated to the point where I tried to quit but my team lead refused to let me, so after that all of the communication between me and the other dept goes through my team lead who keeps setting me up. Small mercy that I don’t have to deal with The Bitch and her lackey on daily basis but the result is the same, unreasonable complaints all the fucking time. Oh, and my team lead refuses to pass my opinions about the “design” and “improvements of the design”. I told everyone a gazillion times that it is unacceptable to set sizes in an app in fucking pixels, and I repeat it every time I get “corrections”. But no, he doesn’t pass it on, and expects the pixels to be “one size fits all”. Explaining to him that it’s not like that? See above. Even with screenshots.

Oh, and while we’re on the topic of demands. There are features in the app that don’t work or work funny on Lollipop and above, and then there are features that crash VMs, so I can’t test on VMs. What do I need? That’s right, a test device with Lollipop or above. Did I get it in the 2 months of development? Nope, not even close. And The Bitch keeps demanding those features to work, my team lead happily passes her complaints to me, and I can’t do a fucking thing without a test device which, by his words, the higher ups refuse to give me. I have a feeling he didn’t even ask for one. On that note, I told HR about the test device on my first interview, and they told me it wouldn’t be a problem.

And another word about resources. I’m a developer. I need a computer that works, and works fast. What did I work on for the first month? A piece of shit that took half a minute to react to a mouse click or a key press and froze. What do I work on now? A notebook that is a bit faster but has a dead battery, so if anyone touches the power cord it turns off. On my very first interview I mentioned that I’m a mac user, and it would be great if I got one for work, and my team lead reassured me that when the company gets one for the iOS developer who they’re planning to hire they’ll get one for me too. The iOS dev was hired a few weeks after me and got his mac within 3 days. Me? Get laughed at every time I tried to mention the promise of a mac.

Now jumping back to the “design”. It’s not only a fucking doodle. It’s fucking unicorn diarrhoea of clashing colours all over the place. And apparently I’m at fault for it looking like shit. Because “in Photoshop it looks pretty” (no it doesn’t).

And the icing on the cake. I came to work in this shitfest company in mid spring, and it was a rather cold spring. And they had an AC in the work area on low all the fucking time. I said I was cold several times, I brought an extra sweater from home, but it was fucking freezing. And my team lead kept insisting that we don’t even have an AC. End result? I had to go to work with a very bad cold for 3 weeks straight. I’m surprised I didn’t end up with pneumonia.

Before this fucking job I hadn’t been smoking for half a year, now I smoke more than a pack a day. Thank you, dear job. Fuck you. One upside is that in 3 weeks there’s a high chance “Dobby will be free”. Even if broke again and in a recession with no vacancies in my field.

 
Posted in Workrant.

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