So I get a call from this person that IS NOT my boss — she’s all whining and pissy about me not replying to some alleged email she allegedly sent. Did I mention that she IS NOT MY FUCKING BOSS?????????
Well, she called a while back bitching about how my coworker doesn’t know where I am or what time I’ll be in and that “Billy” needs help and I place an undue hardship on him when I’m not there. Ok, first off, “BILLY’S” name is actually ROBERT — not “BILLY”, you disingenuous cocksucker. If you’re going to try in vain to feign concern for him, you just MIGHT WANT TO LEARN HIS ACTUAL NAME FIRST.
Second, you don’t goddamn fucking have a fucking need to know where the fuck I am. We have HIPPA laws in this country and your nosy, snooping, prying ass can stay the ever-loving goddamn FUCK out of my goddamn business. I told “BILLY” there to tell you he doesn’t know where I am or what time I’ll be in because IT’S NONE OF YOUR GODDAMN FUCKING ASS BUSINESS YOU FUCKWIT. You are NOT MY FUCKING BOSS!!!!!!!
So help me God, if you fucking start smarting off to me in this fucking “meeting” we’re having or you try to talk to me like a condescending fucktard, I will vacate my position so fast I’ll make Usain Bolt look like a fucking SLOTH. Do you fucking understand me?????????? I have over THIRTY YEARS EXPERIENCE DOING MY JOB and I shall NOT tolerate some fucking cocksucking shitbag like you sitting there lecturing me about where I’m supposed to be. That’s NONE OF YOUR GODDAMN BUSINESS, DOUCHEBAG.
I answer my god damn fucking phone TWENTY FOUR / SEVEN, bitch. You stay the goddamn fuck out of my fucking business because if you don’t, I will do everything within my power to throw your sorry bitch ass under every figurative bus I can find.
STAY THE FUCK OUT OF MY BUSINESS, FUCKTARD.