lazy bitch

Location: hell
Job:

MN you lazy, useless c***. Why do you even bother to show up if you are just going to spend the day pushing calls on to the rest of us. Who exactly are you fucking in the office to get away with the crap you do. You are a waste of space, a stupid, lazy, annoying little twat and I hope you get fired some day. But then that would require management to actually do something about you, which we all know will never happen.

 

OMG NO! Get a fucking clue!

Location: OR
Job: Software engineer

Caller: May I know the name of your Business Development Manager so I can address the email correctly?
Me: It’s Mr. Jxxx Gxxx
Caller: Ok. May I know the name of your General Marketing Manager?
Me: … I don’t know.
Caller: Ok. Do you have a branch manager?
Me: No.
Caller: May I know the name of your Executive Director?
Me: Oh My God! Look, I am not going to entertain your 20 questions about the structure of my company. If you’re going to drop the email to us, then just drop it at the address I’ve given you, we will get it to the relevant party.
Caller: No, no, no! May I know the name of your Manager Dire-
Me: *hangup*

Like, seriously, get a clue!

 

Breaking out of prison

Location: Slums of Mossland
Job: Slave

To work in retail is a true death sentence. Don’t be foolish to walk into these white walls. You will be chained, whipped, and hanged for the unreasonable expectations. You will always make just enough for you to eat. They will turn you into a monstrosity. You will never ever be human again. You will become a beast that is ready to create bloodshed to all other normal humans. It’s called insanity and not being a human. If you believe in God, take my advice. Seriously, you will preserve your life way longer. It’s not worth the struggle; pain; blood, sweat and tears; and your intelligence.

If you are unfortunate to find yourself in this hellish prison, you need to find some tools to take advantage and get out. Sometimes you have to go through hell to get to your heavenly deserved awards. Make sure you never forget to warn the other normals to never join the metal prison nut house. They will praise you later. If you’re stuck, get out. You must preserve your precious life and sanity.

 

Imprisoning me won’t happen

Location:
Job:

So I’m that much of a special snowflake that you intend to chain me to my current position for even more years? With a horrible work-life balance, a bad boss and no perks to make up for me busting my butt?

And you think I’m going to let you do this to me?

Think again. And better think of a plan B for when I’ve found a new job.

 

What to do?

Location:
Job:

Hmmm I have hated my job for some time. Yet, I don’t see where else to go… All my friends are professionals and yet me I am not. Sometimes I see myself as a waste. Too bad I can’t see my own future. My job accomplishments just suck. I had stopped hanging out with people because of my lack of success.