Muppet Head is a wank stain!

Location: Earth
Job: Furniture sales

I hate Muppet Head, he is annoying and as useful as a wank stain! Seriously, he’s worked here for over 9 years and has little to no product knowledge whatsoever, he gives out vendor and importing details to customers and can’t retain information about products, giving out completely different details than everyone else then saying he can’t recall doing that to the customer and boss when questioned. He will all of a sudden have “memory issues” (as he grabs his bulbous, balding with a ponytail head and squints his eyes as if he is really struggling with his own mind) go along with his “self diagnosed insomnia”. He waits till customers come in and then he starts this slow stretching and sighing routine at the counter as if he is in immense pain, Stretching his back, arms, pulling on his fingers, sighing like a bitch….he does this as he requires attention from customers….he seems to think customer service should be all about him…he LOVES it when customers ask…and he blames the warehouse for “his pain” like actually talks down the shop (he has never been diagnosed from a doctor, he went and saw an acupuncturist one time and even that guy refused to blame it on his work as Muppet Head wanted the boss to pay for his acupuncture visits).Continue reading

 

Grow some balls!

Location: USA
Job:

Ok, if they can say something to me about skipping an almost completely useless step to save time and make them more money, then why can’t they tell people to get off their fucking cell phones and listening to whatever music they want that says “ni**er this, ni**er that, fuck the bitch, etc.” We work our asses off for this place and as soon as something goes the slightest bit wrong, we hear about it in gory detail, but when it comes to enforcing the rules about cell phones and loafing, these people are the biggest shrinking violets in the world! Grow some balls with other people if you are going to grow some balls with me!

 

ARG!!!

Location:
Job:

You really need to give me space, boss. Like seriously. I used to respect you before. Just because I am your right hand and you’re so dependent on me to get revenues and make profits does NOT mean that you can bully me, push me around and treat me like your dirt mat. NO you do not have the right to scream and shout at me. And no you can not just tell me to do something which I’m already opposed to, then later change your mind because your plans SUCK.

Wait, you don’t plan. You have mood swings. And you expect that I’ll be a yes-man for every mood swing and take the blame for anything that goes wrong once you go back on your own word. No, I will not take it. We’re not making money or profits? Well guess who takes away 50% of the revenues we earn in terms of salary? YOU. Maybe you should take a pay cut. You sit, do nothing, and draw more than twice of what the rest of the office combined earns. What business acumen do you have? Or what strategies? Are you bringing incremental revenues? Are you bringing any strategy? Are you doing ANYTHING good for the business? Just admit that you cannot handle this job and quit. With whatever dignity you have left intact.

 

Keep yelling

Location: USA
Job: Educational admin

I know I need a new job. I have 12 months – 12 months until my house is paid off… I will make it. I have had so much shit thrown at me, that I am in literal despair every day. On vacation now but when I get back I will hang on till July. I am so sick of test scores – kids being drilled. I feel bad for the kids. They are just numbers.

 

Told to work after office closed for Xmas

Location: Chicago
Job: Senior Manager

Dear LMcD, hope you’re enjoying your Christmas break. How pathetic that you decided to spend your vacation looking at your team’s performance reviews that they turned in on Tuesday. Clearly you don’t have anything better to do. And what kind of power trip are you on to email your team after close of business requesting more information for your performance review, due by 10am Christmas Eve? Sorry, bitch, I’ve got a family to spend the holidays with. How sad you can’t say the same.

LMcD, you’re a fucking head case. I’m sure you were livid to get my response that I would not be working over the holidays when you snapped your finger. As I said, I’ll get to it when I get back after Christmas. I thought about just ignoring your latest code red, high priority email, but decided I don’t want to be passive aggressive. I’m clear on what my priorities are, and stroking your ego isn’t on the list. Looking forward to following up with you in person about this! I hope I get to bring HR in on your latest bullying tactic.

I hear you’re afraid you’re getting fired. See, I’m not afraid of you or what my future is at this company. Whatever happens to me, I know I’ll be just fine because I’m a top performer that people like and respect. You, on the other hand, have got a reputation that is going to make getting another job in this town very difficult. Karma is a bitch and people avoid you like the plague. Go to hell.